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Schools

Is It Too Cold For Shorts ... Do They Ever Learn?

A good plan gone wrong.

I’d like to introduce myself.

I’m Diane Bartz. I live near Jequie Park, work full time for a company that Shall Not Be Named, have a husband, two kids and two cats who are always leashed outside so they don’t kill birds. I also have strong opinions, a long list of New Year's Resolutions, a fat cookbook and a taste for a good endorphin rush. (Nothing better than a hard workout, followed by a double espresso.)

I am also the mother of the 10-year-old boy you may have seen recently, when the temperature was about 30 degrees in a stiff wind, walking by himself from our house in North Takoma to downtown Takoma to get his haircut. In shorts. And a sweatshirt.

It went down like this. The Son wanted to get a hair cut, was determined to go alone since I was going to the gym and was determined not to dress properly.

After a few minutes of “Why can’t I wear shorts?” and “Because it’s 30 degrees and there’s a stiff wind!" I gave up. He wasn’t going to school and I knew full well that he’d be miserably cold. I hoped, in fact, that he’d be so miserably cold that he’d never again argue with me about shorts in January. That was my plan.

“He can’t wear shorts,” my sensible husband said. 

“Think of it as an investment in family peace,” I said. “He won’t argue about shorts ever again after going out in a day like today.”

A neighbor reported seeing him running on his way to downtown Takoma. And said something about red legs. I laughed. Clearly, the plan was a good one.

Son came home with a fresh haircut and a chill. Quietly went upstairs and put on long pants. He also wore his winter jacket without protest for a few days.

“See!” I crowed to the LSH (long suffering husband.) “I’m a genius!”

(I didn’t tell him that once — in my my hometown of St. Paul, Minn. — I got tired of putting shoes on to get the mail and went to the mailbox barefoot. In March. Over six inches of snow. My feet were so cold that they cramped up for days.)

But I learned in one go but the Son, not so much. Son wore the same orange basketball shorts today. It was 30 degrees again, and he did go to the park to play basketball. That said, he didn’t complain about being cold. He knows he won’t get sympathy from me.

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